It's because of how I grow. I lived alone too much, and been through a lot of shiits in my life. That is how I start value people, and dream of bringing my family together.
I dreamt to be the best *** until global level, and it came true. I be the person I want.
I also dream of doing these certain things if I got rich, as the following.
1. Have own house
2. Have own land
3. Have own car
4. Bring family together
5. Help mama and brothers
And amazingly, it came true.
I dreamt of meeting a lover of my life, to build a happy family together and live happily ever after. Well I am working on it.
I just met my lover this year. She is amazing. We have a lot in common. As the following.
1. We used to write uppercase-lowercase mixture for every alphabet in words, long ago
2. We get sleepy if we drink coffee
3. Our look is really same in front of most people's eyes
4. We have the same attitude and sacrifices history with our ex
5. We really care and help our own family so much
6. We are stable and ready
It was never that easy. All these achievements start with a lot of pain and pain. And pain. And pain pain pain pain pain...with a lot of impossibilities and lost of hope. With a lot of anger, madness, feeling down, sadness, all that. I am never that strong. I am forced to keep on going with my life, with all i have.
It will be painful and meaningless to suicide. We will keep breathing. And just live on, even when we see nothing next.
Sometimes, I wonder how all of this happened. Is my pasts really true and happened? It is just too amazing and weird on how I get here. Anything can happen. Until I don't know what's impossible anymore. Life is really unpredictable and always happened in a way, out of our own control.
Life is really, always up and down.
The best way to live, is to forgive, and keep giving kindness to other people. Keep living in a good way. Avoid being selfish and greed. Then we wont regret for everything we had done before we leave this world.
I am already happy for what i have left for my family and friends. I will keep living the way I want. Giving and forgiving. Just a matter of time to leave this world. Im happy enough for what I am and what I have done.
Peace and feel meaningful to live and die. is the best thing I can think of for my life :)
